starting points

We all start somewhere with anything we set out to do in life. Dog training is just the same. We all start somewhere, but in this case it’s not up to us. Well it kind of is, but it also isn’t. Our dogs tell us where to begin, but we decide where we’ll go from there.

For me, I guess it was a lifetime in the making, but it all really unfolded when I fell in love with a behavior dog. Lewis. He was a 2-year-old rescue who lived in a daycare because no one would foster him. He had a growing bite history and was labeled “unpredictable.” Funny though, because he wasn’t anything but sweet as candy any time I ever handled him.

What’s even funnier (sad, really) is that he was a shelter dog from the rural south, uprooted to a big city and was never given the resources or a fair chance to thrive. Eventually, he bit the wrong person and was set to be euthanized. A friend joined me for his last few hours. We played, ate, cuddled and cried as we held him for his last breaths.

It’s interesting how something like that changes you. I was depressed, angry, heartbroken. Those last few minutes lived rent-free in my brain, on a loop that wouldn’t stop. I still remember the look in his eyes when he was muzzled for it. We had him cremated and went on a hike to lay him to rest. We’ve taken a memorial hike each year since.

Then there’s Luna, my personal dog. We’ve had her since she was 3 months old. She was an owner surrender who found herself at the shelter and has since grown into the goofiest, sassiest bean who’s taught me the meaning of unconditional love. We had no idea what the f*ck we were doing, but we managed and she turned out fine… until she wasn’t.

Needless to say, singular learning events are powerful and she developed major dog reactivity. It was all preventable and the guilt used to eat at me, but without that chapter, things wouldn’t be what they are now. Nothing seemed to work at the time and things were spiraling. Fast. Out of desperation, I threw myself into all things dog training. Learning, practicing, growing.

Fast forward. We still have our moments, though rare, but she’s come so far. I’m amazed at how a shift in perspective and communication between us has made life easier, sweeter. When I think of my why, I see Lew. I see Luna. I see the lunging dog that everyone crosses the road to pass or the overwhelmed owner who’s getting dragged down the sidewalk. I see dogs whose fates are decided because they are misread and misunderstood.

What I want more than anything else in the world is for us to be fair to ourselves and our dogs, and understand that our starting point doesn’t always determine our destination.